Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. "Never argue with an idiot. We can afford to cut defense; we cant afford to cut education. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. I've set my own rules to live by. }, And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." George Carlin "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity." George Carlin The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.' George Carlin Believe, Government, Rules To Live By 48 Copy quote Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? George Carlin. His insights on the world of politics were always keen and often quite funny. Quotes, 60 Confidence Quotes to Help You Understand Your Self-Worth, Chris Evans Inspiring Quotes on Happiness, Success, and Being Laser Focused on Love, Strangers Spring Into Action to Save a Driver in Crisis on a Busy Road [VIDEO], 8-Year-Old Finds Out His Favorite Waffle House Waiter Is Hiding a Secret Doesnt Hesitate to Raise $64,000 for Him, White Woman Refuses to Listen to Dad After He Forbid Her From Marrying a Black Man 60 Years Later, Theyre Still Together, Kansas City Chiefs Fans Donate Over $300,000 to Buffalo Childrens Hospital After Dramatic Playoff Win Versus Rivals. !
George Carlin Quote On Critical Thinking | by Ruth | Medium But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full. Carlin and his older brother, Pat, were primarily raised by their mother in Manhattan's Morningside Heights neighborhood. We are in a country, and in a world that is run by people who brainwash , .
Did you ever stop to thnk about all the people we kill? Pointing out the things which are influencing our society badly with humor is not an easy task to do. Its totally FREE. Its what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. They all said: 'Try to live together peacefully.' "Government want to tell you things you can't say because they're against the law, or you can't say this because it's against a regulation, or here's something you can't say because its a.secret; "You can't tell him that because he's not cleared to know that." Government wants to control information and control . Comedian The table is tilted, folks. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. George Carlin, Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. George Carlin, I think people should be allowed to do what they want. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but I'll tell you what they don't want: They don't want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. "CacheDetection.RequestID": "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", }; My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends, George Carlin (2002). They should be more vivid. If you burn the flag, youre burning the flag for what you perceive to be the bad things the country has done.
Best George Carlin quotes on life, religion and politics The Strange Afterlife of George Carlin - The New York Times My advice: just keep moving straight ahead. Interview with Todd Leopold, edition.cnn.com. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating and you finish off as an orgasm.George Carlin, Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. While some of his views may not be popular among the masses, he does make an interesting point when it comes to government. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin, 10. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. Were so self-important. Men are often so foolish as to boast and value themselves upon their passions, even those that are most vicious. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. window.Mobvious = {}; George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. It will not be with jack-boots. A = p.createElement(s); Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin, 22. We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. George Carlin, 79. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice., Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups., If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else., Political correctness cripples discourse, creates ugly language and is generally stupid., Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out., When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person., If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders., If you have selfish and ignorant citizens then you too will become a selfish and bad leader.. var cookiePair = cookie.split('='); But once youre born, youre on your own. If you enjoyed the following article we humbly ask you to comment, and help us spread the word! The people are fucked." George Carlin "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Dont just teach your children to read Teach your children to question what they read, teach them to question everything. You know how I define the economic and social classes in this country? You work forty years until youre young enough to enjoy your retirement. var googletag = googletag || {}; // Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear themusic. George Carlin 13. window.csa("Events")("setEntity", { for(var i=0; i
George Carlin Quotes on Religion, Politics, Government & Life - Goalcast When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle-class and lower-class men off to die. George Carlin, 78. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. And armbands. 4. It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. } Property is theft. The challenge is to find it.George Carlin, I put a dollar in a change machine. Maybe this time itll work. function getCookieWithoutJQuery(name) { But did you ever notice that we have no war on homelessness? What do you say? They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive. " Forget the politicians. I think the life cycle is all backwards. Quote by George Carlin: "Political correctness is fascism pretending to Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. George Carlin, 57. That's the problem." "Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out." " Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity ." Hes not a cheese. He was the second onComedy Centrals list of top 10 American comedians in 2004, posthumously awarded theMark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, and ranked second in number on the list of the 50 best stand-up comedians of all time by Rolling Stonemagazine in 2017. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. [CDATA[ George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) George Carlin Quotes - Facebook A Death! Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." 2. [CDATA[ I love individuals. What really ought to be said after one of these so-called tragedies is, Let the scarring begin.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? googletag.pubads().collapseEmptyDivs(true); session: { id: "334-5362882-2183381" }, You have owners. ", Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("resource", "author_22782"); Whether you agree with him or not, Carlins views are definitely worth considering. This is what we have to offer. Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. George Carlin, 24. if (sourcesToHideBuyFeatures[i] == source) Deal with it. The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. In America, anyone can become president. Well, we know what they want. Well, its Gods will. Thy Will Be Done. Fine, but if its Gods will, and Hes going to do what He wants to anyway, why the fuck bother praying in the first place? Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town. var cookies = document.cookie.split('; '); In this blog post, well take a look at some of his best quotes on the subject. He loves you and he needs money. q("f", arguments) When you die, it all stays here. "Men are from Earth,. In America, anyone can become president. Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? Dont just teach your children to read Teach them to question everything that they read Teach them to question everything. George Carlin, 86. (?) Its interested in its own power. His jokes were certainly aimed to provoke others but the hows and whys of it made him so exceptional. We would love to hear your thoughts, so dont be shy and comment below! Being considered as one of the top comedians of all time, George is well known for his black humor, political views, observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many other Really? Laugh often, long and loud. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. Laugh often, long and loud. } catch (err) { 383 talking about this. Its only a piece of cloth. George Carlin, 75.The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful of insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. !function(){function n(n,t){var r=i(n);return t&&(r=r("instance",t)),r}var r=[],c=0,i=function(t){return function(){var n=c++;return r.push([t,[].slice.call(arguments,0),n,{time:Date.now()}]),i(n)}};n._s=r,this.csa=n}(); Laugh until you gasp for breath.George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.George Carlin, Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.George Carlin, People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I dont want to? The planet is fine. 4994. Carlin certainly aimed to provoke, but its the why and how of it that made him so exceptional. They own you. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin, 39. In fact, George Carlin had some pretty interesting things to say about government. You don't. You have no choice. The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the State houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. George Carlin, 63. They've long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. } Disgusting that people still make that argument that we can never cut defense but we can cut education. //]]> var ue_t0=window.ue_t0||+new Date(); Good, honest, hard-working people: white collar, blue collar, it doesn't matter what color shirt you have on. I mean, life is tough. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.George Carlin, Theres no present. Napalm & Silly Putty, Hyperion. Quote by George Carlin - SComedy George Carlin was one of the most well-known and beloved comedians of all time. Forget the politicians. The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. Top 10 George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. George Carlin quote: I have certain rules I live by. My - Lib Quotes Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, 26. They own you. function(a9, a, p, s, t, A, g) { Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? If you can connect with theseGeorge Carlin quotes, subscribe to our blog so that you dont miss a single post. Weve added years to life, not life to years. Beneath George Carlins biting sarcasm and razor-sharp wit lay a heartfelt indignation at the injustices he observed in the world around him. How are YOU going to tackle today? Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky. And I didnt really care in the first place.George Carlin, Dont confuse me with those who cling to hope. "Events.SushiEndpoint": "https://unagi.amazon.com/1/events/com.amazon.csm.csa.prod", George Carlin. 125 George Carlin Quotes 1. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. George Carlin George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, social critic, actor, and author Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. Keep em showing up at those jobs. George Carlin, 81. Laugh until you gasp for breath." - George Carlin 3. 'Cause pretty soon they have little hats. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. George Carlin, 45. When you are born in America, you get a front row seat. Electricity is really just organized lightning. }()); If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. Theres a humorous side to every situation. 100 George Carlin Funny Quotes On Religion, Stupid People In this blog post, well take a look at some of Carlins most famous quotes on government. George Carlin is a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, and author. Best Quotes & Jokes by George Carlin | SComedy After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. " George Carlin "Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist." George Carlin "I, myself, have killed six people. Its no secret that George Carlin was a bit of a political philosopher. The upper class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. George Carlin George Carlin - Quotes, Death & 7 Words - Biography googletag.cmd.push(function() { The following quotes are some of the most thought provoking sentences youll ever read. I have certain rules I live by. The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. Below youll find the best collection of George Carlin quotes. George Carlin Quotes Government : "Most of the government wants to control information and language so that it can control you. I have certain rules I live by. George Carlin was one of the most iconic comedians of all time and he had a lot to say about government. var ue_mid = "A1PQBFHBHS6YH1"; , Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. Soon enough youll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, You show me a lazy prick whos lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and Ill show you a guy whos not causing any trouble. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, I have lots of ideas. Maybe this time itll work. George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointedidealist. George Carlin, Never argue with an idiot. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? It will not be with jack-boots. "Events.Namespace": "csa", //]]>. And in 2017,Rolling Stone magazine ranked Carlin second on its list of the 50 Best Stand-Up Comics of All Time, just behind Richard Pryor. The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election. George Carlin, 66. What do you get at the end of it? Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get firedand get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin, Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. George Carlin, If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin, Theres no present. Inspirational George Carlin Quotes 1. Quotes by George Carlin One of the most iconic comedians of all time. return cookiePair[1]; Every day we present the best quotes! The people are fucked. George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin, Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. - George Carlin quotes. All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Laugh often, long and loud. Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. George Carlin, 40.